If you have ADHD and struggle with alcohol, maybe you’ve heard someone say or even told yourself that you just need to try harder. I know that feeling well. I’ve seen it in clients, friends, and even in myself: that quiet, nagging thought that if only you were stronger, things would be different. Here’s the truth: willpower isn’t the problem.
Living with ADHD means your brain handles motivation and reward differently. Dopamine is a big part of that. It’s the chemical that makes things feel satisfying, focused, and enjoyable. For many of us, alcohol delivers a quick, predictable hit. I’ve watched people talk about that first sip in the evening like it’s a tiny lifeline. The day feels lighter, the mental chatter quiets down, and somehow the world feels a bit more manageable. I get it. That relief is real.
But here’s the catch. That relief comes at a cost. Poor sleep, low mood, stronger cravings, and the inevitable crash follow, and suddenly that thing that helped you cope is also holding you back. I’ve had clients sit with me and tearfully explain that they hate what alcohol is doing to their life but feel trapped because it’s the only thing that works for them. That’s not weakness. That’s human.
Real change with ADHD isn’t about forcing yourself to be stronger. It’s about understanding your brain and finding other ways to meet the needs alcohol has been filling. Maybe it’s a new routine that helps regulate your day, movement that gives your brain a dopamine boost, or tools to manage stress without the crash. The key is experimenting, learning, and working with your brain rather than against it.
I won’t pretend it’s easy. Some days feel messy, frustrating, or impossible. But I’ve seen people who started small, just noticing patterns, making tiny adjustments, and gradually reclaim their evenings, their focus, and their sense of control. That change is possible, and it starts with curiosity and self-compassion instead of shame.
If you’re tired of blaming yourself and ready to explore what life could feel like without alcohol running the show, I’d be glad to talk with you. You don’t have to do it alone, and you don’t have to figure it out perfectly. Every step forward counts, and sometimes just knowing someone gets it makes all the difference.
