Group therapy can be a brilliant thing but it isn't for everyone. It’s time we stop pretending that it is.
I have seen people come alive in groups, sharing things they never thought they could, and finding comfort in hearing someone say, “Me too.” There is a certain magic in realising you are not the only one who has messed up, relapsed, struggled, or felt like a complete failure. For some, that sense of belonging is the first real connection they have felt in years. It can break shame, build motivation, and remind people that recovery does not have to be done alone.
When Group Therapy Feels Overwhelming
But the truth is, not everyone heals best in a crowd. For some, being put in a room full of strangers and expected to share personal pain, trauma, and messy emotions can be absolutely paralysing.
This isn’t just about being shy or awkward; it’s about feeling unsafe. People with social anxiety, trauma histories, or neurodivergent traits like autism or ADHD often find group settings overwhelming. The noise, unpredictability, and emotional intensity can be too much. When someone’s nervous system is already running on fumes, sitting in a circle of emotional strangers is survival mode - not healing mode.
The Pitfalls of Group Dynamics
Every group has its louder voices and quieter ones, its natural leaders and its people who fade into the background. For some, it becomes another space where they feel unseen, unnoticed, or overshadowed — just like the rest of their life.
Others end up comparing their recovery to everyone else’s:
Instead of thinking “I can get there too,” some people walk away feeling like they will never catch up.
There’s also a human tendency to wear masks. In groups, it’s easy to say what you think you’re supposed to say — to perform recovery instead of living it. People nod, agree, share half-truths, but inside they are still holding back. It’s not dishonesty; it’s self-protection. Some people need one-to-one space first, somewhere private, steady, and safe, before they can even begin to show those layers in front of others.
Recovery Is Deeply Personal
Recovery is not one-size-fits-all. Forcing someone into group therapy simply because it’s what’s on offer can do more harm than good. It can leave people feeling misunderstood, pressured, and less likely to engage with support in the future.
We need to offer choices. Some people thrive in groups, while others do better with:
Group therapy has its place. It can be powerful, connective, and life-changing. But it is not the universal answer we sometimes pretend it is. Real recovery support respects difference — it doesn’t force everyone into the same mould.
Sometimes, healing happens quietly, one-to-one, without applause or group hugs. And that is perfectly fine.
If anything in this blog has resonated with you, reach out, let's have a chat...
